Bushwacked
by Clinically Insane
Summary: (Remy/Rogue)(Kiotr)(Jott)(John/Wanda) Logan+Creed abandon the kids in the woods?! Remy and Rogue break up?! Belle comes to Bayville?! Scott+Jean finally do IT?! Oh, that's not right! (author cringes).~DONE!~
1. Wake Up Call

Chapter 1: Wake Up Call  
  
Disclaimer ~ I don't own any of the characters-so far and it pisses me off!- just in case you were wondering.  
  
It was 3:30 am-A.M. PEOPLE!-When Kitty and Rogue received a rude awakening from an uncharacteristically chipper Canadian.  
  
WHAM!!!!  
  
The door to Rogue and Kitty's room flew open.  
  
"MOVE IT!" yelled Logan.  
  
The girls didn't stir.  
  
SKNIT!  
  
RIIIIIIIIIP!  
  
SLASH!  
  
SLIT!  
  
SLICE!  
  
Before the girls knew what happened their bed sheets lay in a jagged pile on the floor.  
  
"GODDAMN IT, LOGAN!" cursed Rogue, "HAVE YA LOST WHAT WAS LEFT OF YER MIAHND?!"  
  
"Ya, Mr. Logan it's like 3:30." complained Kitty.  
  
"Be down in the garage in 10," said Logan walking out the door.  
  
-------------  
  
Over at the Acolytes Creed had woken St. John, Wanda, Remy and Piotr in the same fashion as Wolverine woke the girls. They were all standing in the commons room ½ dead.  
  
"Kitty-cat it be too damn early fo' de games!" warned a weary Remy.  
  
"No game." said Sabertooth heading for the door, "Time to go."  
  
"Go where?" whined Wanda.  
  
"Now that would ruin the surprise," said Creed sarcastically as he motioned for them to head out to the pick-up.  
  
Remy sighed, "Dis bites!"  
  
"You can say that again, Mate," said St. John.  
  
"Da, Comrade," said Piotr.  
  
"I third the statement," said Wanda.  
  
"Quit yer whining and jump in the back!" ordered Creed.  
  
They all knew better than to fight with a man who was wanted in the lower 48 states for murder, arson and God knows what else. Reluctantly they climbed in.  
  
-------------  
  
After thirty minutes of driving the headlights of the two vehicles crossed in a dirt clearing miles from any paved roads.  
  
Once all the kids had lined up in the glow from the headlights Wolverine and Creed explained their mission.  
  
"You have two days to reach Devil's Peak." said Wolverine, "We'll be waiting for you with the X-Jet at sundown on the second day."  
  
"A map, a compass and one bag of supplies-that's it," said Creed dropping a the rations at their feet.  
  
"What no flashlight? Or Matches?!" asked Wanda as she went through the bag.  
  
"Oh right," said Logan as he reached into the passenger's side and pulled out a glass jar with a thin yellow tin cover.  
  
SKNIT!  
  
Wolverine put three slits in the top. Then put it in Rogue's hand.  
  
"What am Ah supposed ta do with this catch fiahflies?!"  
  
"Now yer getting' it," said Wolverine as he and Creed headed back to their vehicles.  
  
"See ya in two days," said Creed half laughing.  
  
"Wait you're like abandoning us?!" yelped Kitty in distress.  
  
Her only answer was the backfiring of both trucks as they drove off into what was left of the night.  
  
"OMG!" yelled Kitty, "THEY LIKE TOTALLY ABANDONED US!" 


	2. When it rains it Pours

Chapter 2: When it rains it Pours  
  
It was noon. Wolverine and Sabertooth had dropped them off at 4 am. That was only 7 hours earlier. In that reasonably short time they had not only lost the supplies while crossing a river, gotten off course twice, walked through a field of poison ivy and into a bees' hive, but now they had come face to face with a hungry bobcat.  
  
And wouldn't you know they were trapped on a cliff over a raging river complete with white water rapids.  
  
"Remiahnd me ta kill Logan if we live through this!" said Rogue.  
  
"I'll like help you," said Kitty.  
  
"An' Gambit gon' watch!"  
  
"Guess that means we get to kill Sabertooth, Mates," said Pyro looking at Piotr and Wanda.  
  
"Oh, no," said Wanda, "I'm going to kill Magneto for this!"  
  
They were able to fend off the cat but in the process they loosened the rock they were standing on.  
  
"This won't hold us much longer!" said St. John.  
  
"Like what now?" asked Kitty.  
  
"Jump!" ordered Rogue.  
  
"In to the river?!" yelled Kitty.  
  
"Got any better ideas?" asked Rogue.  
  
"N-N-No," said Kitty trembling at the thought of jumping from a cliff, "Well here goes-"  
  
She jumped and landed safely in the water. Colossus soon followed along with Wanda.  
  
"I wish I could jump like that, Mate," said St. John.  
  
"Wish granted, mon ami," said Gambit as he pushed John over the edge. Then he took Rogue in his arms and leapt from the teetering ledge.  
  
They were washed at least three miles down river.  
  
Sitting on the grassy bank of the river they wrung themselves out.  
  
"Katya, are you alright?" asked Piotr.  
  
"Ya, I'm ok. Like was that a rush or what?" asked Kitty as she adjusted her pony tale.  
  
"Dat was some scary shit!" declared Remy.  
  
"The important part is we're all alright," said Rogue.  
  
"Who are you kidding?!" asked Wanda, "We all almost died back there!"  
  
"She-er-Wanda's got a point." said Pyro, "This situation can't get any worse."  
  
(Ok people, we all know when someone says that it always gets worse. So without further ado-)  
  
KRACK-BOOM!-The sky unzipped and rain fell in long, hard sheets.  
  
"No fuckin' way," said Rogue miserably.  
  
"Well at least we can't get any wetter," said Kitty in her usual perky tone.  
  
"Shove it!" said Rogue.  
  
-------------  
  
The tired teens eventually found a cave and started a fire. They decided to stay there and wait out the storm.  
  
When the fire died down Kitty and Colossus went to go find more wood-that was over a half hour ago.  
  
"That's it, c'mon Remy, lets go fiahnd some more wood. Gawd only knows when we'll see Kitty or Colossus again. He's probably bangin' her brains out." said Rogue rising to her feet.  
  
"Right behind you, Chere," said Gambit.  
  
Once Remy and Rogue were out of sight Wanda shook out her sweatshirt. Leaves cascaded all over the cave floor.  
  
John raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I thought they'd never leave," said Wanda.  
  
"What's with the leaves?" asked John.  
  
"We're going to play a game." said Wanda as she took off her shirt and bra, "It's called: Adam and Evil."  
  
-------------  
  
Meanwhile the rain had tapered off a bit, Remy and Rogue stood in a small clearing collecting twigs that weren't soaked through.  
  
Rogue stood up and looked over at Remy, "We need to talk-"  
  
(Here it is folks the moment you've all been dreading-Get your tissues ready!-You have been warned!)  
  
"Quoi, Cher?" asked Remy standing up.  
  
"We need to cool it."  
  
"Remy not to sure he understand."  
  
"It's our fault-If we hadn't been in everyone's faces about our relationship we wouldn't be here."  
  
"Cher-"  
  
"No, hear me out." The rain masked Rogue's tears, "We all could have diahed earlier today and it would have been mah fault because Ah asked you ta help me and ya did."  
  
"Dat's not yo fault if someone died, Chere," said Gambit, "Fuzzy an' Kitty- Cat were de one's who left us here ta rot!"  
  
"No, Logan has every riaght ta be mad afta that fight Ah picked with him (Hotel Management ref.)"  
  
"Non, Cher, Wolvie just can't take a joke dat's all," insisted the Cajun with a faux grin.  
  
"Still, it's probably best to lay low fer awhile. Ah mean none of this would have happened if we were Scott and Jean," just their names left a bad taste in Rogue's mouth.  
  
"Does (long 'o') two gonna die virgins, Cher, after really long, really dull lives!" argued Remy.  
  
"Yer riaght, but they'll always have everyone else's approval-We went to far, ya know that."  
  
"Oui, but since when does Cher care?" asked Remy who was beginning yo loose his composure.  
  
"Since it put other people than us in real danger-Look around you were in the middle of nowhere! If someone was seriously injured they would be cold (dead) before any form of paramedic could even get out here. You know Ah'm right!"  
  
"Oui, Remy knows. So, how long we gon' 'cool it'?"  
  
"Ah don't know," said Rogue wrapping her arms around her torso, "Ah don't know."  
  
-------------  
  
Well there you have it-but fear not we all know it's not forever. Sure things will get bad for a little while, but all will be mended by the finale. When have I let you down?  
  
More to come-MWAHAHAHAH! 


	3. Scott Seeks Advice

Chapter 3: Scott Seeks Advice  
  
('bout friggin' time if you ask me, but who am I to say something I'm JUST THE AUTHOR!)  
  
(*achem* Where was I? Ah, yes-)  
  
Back at the Institute around 2 in the afternoon Scott and Jean were sitting at the kitchen table with their planners in front of them.  
  
Logan had taken the new recruits who had gone for a joyride in the helicopter (Hotel Management ref) down to the danger room for what he liked to call 'fun and games' (Who the hell are we kidding people? Call the mortician now!). Beast, Storm and the Prof. were with Forge going over schematics for the new vehicles they were in the process of designing. And Jamie who hadn't been in any kind of trouble, found himself with the afternoon off, needless to say he parked himself in the commons room in front of the tv, which meant Scott and Jean were alone-with their planners.  
  
"What about Wednesday?" asked Scott.  
  
"No," said Jean, "I have to meet with the prom committee. What about Friday after school?"  
  
"I though we were doubling with Duncan and Tarren (Jean's so called 'friend' who's always stalking Scott, it was only a matter of time before she and Duncan would come together-admit it!)."  
  
"Oh right," said Jean penciling it in," then what's left?"  
  
"Well-there's tonight. Do you have that free?" asked Scott.  
  
Jean checked, "Yes!" she said excitedly.  
  
"Great," said Scott, "So I'll see you around 9ish?" ventured Scott.  
  
"9 works for me," said Jean.  
  
"So did you want to come to my room or should I come to yours?" asked Scott.  
  
"Which ever's easier, I guess," said Jean, "I'll come to your room."  
  
"Did you want me to bring anything specific? Champaign or strawberries?" inquired Scott.  
  
"Whatever you want to bring will be fine-Did you want me to wear anything specific?" Jean asked.  
  
"I don't know." said Scott fumbling as he put his pen back into its holder, "I don't really have a preference, whatever you're comfortable in."  
  
"Ok," said Jean, "I'll see you at 9." She zipped her planer closed and then walked out of the room.  
  
Once Jean was out of sight Scott made a mad dash to find any adult male-he didn't even care if it was Magneto. Luckily our boy ran into Logan and Hank first down in the lab.  
  
Scott bolted into the lab nearly out of breath and slammed the door shut behind him-  
  
BANG!  
  
Hank was sitting at a microscope, while Logan flipped through a Harley Davidson magazine.  
  
"Oh, thank God I've been looking for you guys everywhere," said a rather exasperated Cyke.  
  
"Whatever it is it has to wait 10 more minutes," said Hank, "I finally figured out how to isolate this isotope."  
  
"At 9 o'clock Jean and I are going to have sex!" Scott blurted out.  
  
Both men froze.  
  
Fwip!-Logan threw the magazine over his shoulder.  
  
"Then again, the isotope isn't going anywhere," concluded Hank.  
  
"Why don't you start from the beginning, Scooter?" asked Logan crossing his arms.  
  
-------------  
  
Meanwhile Jean had gone in search of Storm. When Jean found her she was fighting Mystique-I know big shock, right? (Author rolls eyes)  
  
KRACK-BOOM  
  
"You've had this coming, shape shifter!" yelled Storm.  
  
"I'd like to see you try it, Wind Rider!" shouted Mystique.  
  
"Storm, can we talk?" asked Jean sheepishly hugging her planner to her chest.  
  
"Jean, I'm afraid it will have to wait," said Storm as she took a swing a Smerfette (Mystique) and missed.  
  
"Ya, Red, take a number." growled Mystique, "What's so damn important?"  
  
Jean took a deep breath, "Scott and I agreed to have sex tonight."  
  
"Then again I think we can take a five minute break," said Storm looking at Mystique.  
  
"Or we could just call it a day," said Mystique.  
  
"Agreed," said Ororo, "We'll pick this up another time."  
  
Mystique turned toward Jean, "Care to elaborate?"  
  
-------------  
  
"Back up, Scooter." Said Wolverine, "Let me get this straight-the two of you actually sat down at the kitchen table and went through your planners to find a time to do this?"  
  
"Uh, ya why?" asked Cyke.  
  
Logan looked at Hank who just covered his eyes with his paw and said, "Oy vay" (Yiddish term-used bad situations-such as this).  
  
"What?!" asked a horrified Cyclops, "Did I do something wrong-I knew it!"  
  
"Whoa, slow down." said Logan, "You can't do anything 'wrong'-technically."  
  
"Technically?!" exclaimed Scott, "What does that mean?"  
  
"It just means normally it's not planned," said Hank attempting to put it delicately, "but more importantly if you're doing this because of what we said about you and Jean compared to Gambit and Rogue, while we were looking for Apocalypse (Hotel Management ref) we were kidding!"  
  
"Ya," insisted Logan, "don't rush into something yer not ready for!"  
  
"Seriously," warned Hank, "sex adds a whole new level to a relationship that even some adults don't know how to handle-after having multiple partners."  
  
"Haven't you ever watched Springer?!" asked Logan.  
  
Both Hank and Scott gave Logan a strange look.  
  
"What?" asked Logan, "It's on at 3 in the morning and I'm normally awake anyway!"  
  
"And getting back to the point after that brief, yet bizarre interlude," said Hank, "This is something you need to give a lot of thought to and I don't mean just an afternoon!"  
  
"But I thought you just said it's normally not planned!" said Scott who by this point was very confused.  
  
"Not the physical part!" said Wolverine.  
  
"I'm lost," said Scott.  
  
"Yer a teenager we would be worried if ya weren't." said the Canadian gruffly.  
  
"No!" said Scott, "I mean I'm lost in the conversation."  
  
"Oh-" said Logan, "Why didn't you say that in the first place?"  
  
"*Ugh*" Scott smacked his forehead.  
  
"Bottom line," said Hank in an attempt to keep the conversation on topic, "we just don't want you to make a mistake-"  
  
"Mistake?!" asked Scott, "I love Jean. How can I make a mistake?!"  
  
Hank and Logan looked at each other.  
  
Hank opened one of the drawers at the desk he was sitting at and pulled out a box of condoms (ribbed, lubricated Trojans-just in case any inquiring minds wanted to know) and threw it Scott, "Here."  
  
"Uh-thanks," said Scott in a poor attempt not to blush as he then power walked out of the lab.  
  
Hank looked over at Logan, "Ten says they go to a movie instead."  
  
"Yer on." said Wolverine picking up the motorcycle magazine again.  
  
-------------  
  
I think I'll cut it there for now-MWAHAHAHA! Damn there I go again I swear I don't know what comes over me.  
  
Any who, next up well hear Storm and Mystique's advice to Jean, while they browse through the racks at Victoria Secret. Let's just enjoy it while it's still just that-a secret (Low blow I know, but by know you should know nothing is sacred)  
  
Chapter 4 is just around the bend. 


	4. “The Talk”

Chapter 4: "The Talk"  
  
I bet you haven't heard this version yet-Mwahahahaha!  
  
Meanwhile at the Bayville mall Ororo and Mystique were helping Jean thumb through various racks at Victoria's Secret.  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this?" asked Storm for at least the 10th time.  
  
"Yes, Ororo, I'm sure," said Jean not making eye contact.  
  
"So let me get this straight," said Mystique, "you're going to his room at 9 o'clock."  
  
"Yes, we've been through this," said Jean, "what's your point?"  
  
"That's it?" said Mystique, "No dinner, no dancing, not even a movie?!" You're just going to his room at 9 o'clock?"  
  
"Well, I left it open, if he wanted to bring anything-" Jean began.  
  
Mystique just rolled her eyes, "You're supposed to milk this for all it's worth!"  
  
"Don't listen to her." said Storm, "This is your first time-enjoy it."  
  
"Please, we both know if it's his first time she's not going to enjoy it that much!" said Mystique looking over at Ororo.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Jean.  
  
"Nothing!" said Storm quickly, "Honestly, Raven!"  
  
After about an hour of browsing Mystique pulled as red lace corset and held it up to Jean, "This," she said.  
  
"It doesn't have a crotch!" objected Jean.  
  
"What would you need it for?" asked Mystique raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I-uh-" Jean stammered.  
  
"Precisely," said Mystique.  
  
"We can put that with this," said Storm holding up a sheer robe the same color as the corset.  
  
"And remember," said Mystique, "there is no shame in using sex as a reward to make him do your laundry or whatever else you can think of."  
  
Jean looked at Ororo, "Aren't you going to disagree?" she asked the wind rider.  
  
"No," said Storm simply, "all women do it at some point. How did you think I got Victor to pull a job (a murder) in Vermont and then take me to one of Canada's most exclusive hotels for a weekend and book the presidential suit?"  
  
"And why do you think Magneto requires the Acolytes to vacate the premises every Friday night? The whole 'mental health' speech he gave them was a load of bullshit." explained Mystique.  
  
"I had no idea," said Jean.  
  
"Don't worry we'll be here to go over everything again," Mystique assured her.  
  
"Uh-great, thanks," said Jean a little hesitantly as she walked to the register.  
  
The two older women hung back for a moment.  
  
"20 says she backs out," said Mystique.  
  
"You're on," said Storm with a wicked smile.  
  
-------------  
  
Xavier Institute-  
  
9 p.m.  
  
Everything was set: the candles were lit, rose petals were sprinkled all over the bed and Scott had already bounced a quarter off the bed spread- just to make sure it was perfect.  
  
There was a light tap at the door. Scott walked over and opened it to see Jean standing there in a full length trench coat.  
  
"Are you going to invite me in or are you just going to stare?" giggled Jean.  
  
Scott stepped off to the side and motioned for her to come in.  
  
"Wow," said Jean looking around the room, "And roses? Scott you are so sweet."  
  
Scott closed the door, "I'm glad you like it."  
  
He gave her a small kiss and then they paused-you knew this was coming.  
  
"So-" Scott trailed off, "how did you want to start?"  
  
"I guess you could take off my trench coat-if you want," said Jean a little unsure.  
  
"Um-ok," said Scott leaning forward.  
  
After fumbling with the latch he was able to remove the jacket and nearly had a heart attack when he did.  
  
"Is something wrong?" asked Jean.  
  
"No-no, nothing's 'wrong'," said Scott.  
  
It was at this time that Jean had the misfortune to look down, "Oh my God!" she exclaimed blushing and looking away quickly.  
  
"What?" asked Scott as he directed his attention downward-"Whoa!-I-uh- that's supposed to happen, right?!"  
  
Jean laughed, "What now?"  
  
"I don't know," said Scott, "I guess you can take off my clothes."  
  
"You guess?" asked Jean a little confused as she pulled Scott's shirt over his head and put it off to the side.  
  
"Ya, well I didn't think there would be this much talking," said Scott in his defense as Jean unzipped his pants.  
  
The two of them stood there like morons just staring at each other. Scott in his boxers. Jean a crotchless, near see through corset-just to put things into perspective.  
  
Then out of no where a nothing less than primal instinct took over Scott (Probably from hanging around Wolverine all the time or maybe it was all that pent up frustration for all the jokes that went on behind his back). He grabbed Jean around the waist and the two teens feel back onto the bed.  
  
-------------  
  
Meanwhile when while Scott and Jean were having their way with one another Logan and Hank decided to distract the younger members of the team with none other than everyone's favorite pastime-Rugby.  
  
"Are you sure about this?" asked Hank going over a print out of the rules.  
  
"Ya, why?" asked Logan lighting a cigar.  
  
"This just seems hazardous to their health," said Hank, then he watched Wolverine blow a perfect "o" of smoke, "Nevermind."  
  
"Why are we outside at 9:10 at night?" asked Amara looking at her watch.  
  
"Ya, I'm getting eaten alive!" said Bobby as he attempted to freeze the bugs flying around him.  
  
Beast and Wolverine exchanged glances.  
  
"Is this because Scott finally decided to nail Jean?" asked Jamie.  
  
Beast's jaw dropped.  
  
Logan just chuckled, "How do you know everything that goes on around here?"  
  
"Not only am I the youngest and the smallest member of the X-men, but I can be in five places at once." said Jamie with a smug smile.  
  
-------------  
  
The next morning the adults were sitting around the kitchen table-in silence.  
  
"Do you think we should wake them up?" asked Storm breaking the silence.  
  
"No," said Xavier, "We should respect their privacy on the matter."  
  
"Not to mention it's best they just sleep it off." said Hank turning the news paper page.  
  
"Besides," said Wolverine, "It's nice having it quiet around here for once."  
  
"Don't you have to go and pick up the others?" asked Storm.  
  
"I'm on my way out now," said Wolverine.  
  
-------------  
  
When Wolverine and Creed arrived at the designated pick up point the teen were no where to be seen.  
  
"Where are they?" growled Creed.  
  
Logan sniffed the air, "I don't know."  
  
CRUNCH!-a branch broke off in the woods somewhere.  
  
"AAAAAHHHHHH!"  
  
A sound similar to a stampede could be heard coming through the woods toward the helicopter.  
  
All of a sudden the kids bolted out of the woods at break neck speed and ran onto the helicopter without even a 'Hi, thanks for not making us hitchhike home."  
  
"What was that all about," Logan looked over at Victor.  
  
"Who kno-" Creed was cut off by a moose running into the clearing and it looked pissed!  
  
"Oh," said Wolverine.  
  
"I thought I made it clear!" said Sabertooth directing his comment back at the teens, "I don't care what follows you home you can't keep it!"  
  
SKNIT!  
  
After about 2 minutes of tangling with Sabertooth and the Wolverine the moose ran back into the forest from whence it came with its tail set firmly between it's legs.  
  
-------------  
  
Once the Acolytes got home they parked themselves right in front tube (tv). Well all except for Remy of course who had been silent the entire ride home. He want straight to his room and shut the door behind him.  
  
The others were so tired from fleeing from that crazed moose they didn't notice Gambit's absence in the commons room.  
  
Once in his room Remy walked over to his bed and flopped down, not even bothering to take a shower or change his now dirt encrusted clothes.  
  
He closed his eyes and sighed as his body sank into the comforter-she was gone.  
  
-------------  
  
Rogue was silent on the return trip as well and she refused to make eye contact with Wolverine. When they got back to the Institute she went straight up to her room and shoved the dresser in front of the door so no one could come in.  
  
Then she walked into the closet and closed the door. Leaning against the wall she sank down to the floor. She brought her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Then she began to cry-  
  
What had she done?  
  
-------------  
  
(Author sitting behind news desk with stack o' papers in front of her)  
  
"The plot thickens. Next up what will happen when Jean and Scott wake up? Will the Acolytes notice Gambit's absence? What will become of Remy and Rogue?  
  
"Those questions and more will be encountered soon-meaning we'll hand from that bridge when we come to it.  
  
"Until next time, I'm Clinically Insane, signing off-"  
  
(Everything goes black) 


	5. What Dreams May Come

Chapter 5: What Dreams May Come  
  
I own nothing.  
  
Scott and Jean woke up at three in the afternoon that day.  
  
Scott squinted beneath his visor at the light that was streaming through the curtains.  
  
"Mmmmmmhhhhhh-what time is it?" groaned Scott looking over at the clock, "HOLY SHIT IT'S 3 IN THE AFTERNOON!"  
  
"Nnnhhhhh-Scott too loud," mumbled Jean as she snuggled up to his chest.  
  
"Jean?!" Scott looked over to see a very naked Jean covered by only a thin sheet and rose petals scattered everywhere around the room.  
  
"Scott?!" Jean looked up quickly, "-you're not wearing any clothes!"  
  
"Neither are you!" Scott countered.  
  
"Wait did you say it's 3 in the afternoon?!" asked Jean.  
  
"Ya," said Scott, "I wonder why Logan didn't come and wake us up."  
  
"You're kidding, right?" asked Jean.  
  
"What?" asked Scott.  
  
Jean just rolled her eyes.  
  
"So, did you have fun?" asked Scott.  
  
"Well, I am more relaxed," admitted Jean rather sheepishly.  
  
"What now?" asked Scott.  
  
"A shower would be nice," said Jean.  
  
"Bathroom's through there," Scott pointed off to the side.  
  
"I meant with you," said Jean blushing a little.  
  
Scott sat there dumb founded for a moment, then smiled, "I'll race you."  
  
-------------  
  
5:00 pm  
  
Mags Lair  
  
Needless to say another meeting had been called. Everyone with the exception of Gambit of course was sitting in the commons room.  
  
Magneto sighed, "Where's Gambit?"  
  
"I don't know," seemed to be the unanimous answer.  
  
"Has anyone seen him lately?" asked Mystique.  
  
"No, I think the last time I saw him was when we got back, mate," said St. John.  
  
"That was four hours ago, Comrade. He's probably just tired." offered Colossus.  
  
"We can let him sleep this once." ventured Mystique, "You have to admit everything will go faster without him."  
  
"Very well," Magneto seceded, "it is Friday after all," he said looking over at Mystique (he he).  
  
Creed just snickered to himself as the meeting got underway.  
  
-------------  
  
7:30 pm  
  
The Xavier Institute  
  
Logan had called a training session to make up for the missed session earlier that day-you know the one Scott and Jean slept through-(Mwhahahaha)  
  
"Half-Pint, where's Stripes?" asked Logan.  
  
"I don't know," said Kitty I like couldn't find her anywhere."  
  
"I'll find her." said Wolverine, "The rest of you get started."  
  
"I'm on Jean-I mean-It!-I'm on it!" Scott corrected himself as he pushed the button for the elevator.  
  
Jean just covered her eyes with her hand and sighed.  
  
"Nice Freudian slip," complimented Jamie with a smug smile.  
  
Wolverine slunk away laughing to himself.  
  
-------------  
  
In the meantime Rogue had come out of the closet (not literally!-pay attention!) and crawled up onto her bed when she fell asleep. Although even in sleep she was unable to find piece, rather she found violent dreams due to an overactive subconscious.  
  
"No!-No!-NO!" Rogue started screaming. She was dreaming that the Canadian had finally decided to take the Cajun into his own hand-er-claws, more correctly. And in the danger room no less.  
  
Blood splattered against the metal walls and body parts were strewn about the room.  
  
Fifty-two pickup was the name of the game as Gambit's playing cards went flying in all directions-they two were doused in blood.  
  
Logan could hear Rogue screaming, "STRIPES?!" but of course when he tried the knob it didn't work, nor did the door for that matter-the dresser was in front of it, remember?!  
  
SKNIT!  
  
Wolverine made quick work of the door and threw dresser out the way with ease then set to waking Rogue.  
  
"Stirpes-Stripes, WAKE UP!" Logan shook her.  
  
Rogue came around slowly, but one thing was sure Wolverine was standing over her-  
  
SMASH!  
  
Rogue broke the lamp on the nightstand over Wolverine's head.  
  
"It all your fault!-It's all your-Logan?" Rogue was rather confused, "Whay is the lamp in pieces?"  
  
"Why don't you tell me. You smashed it over my head!" said Wolverine.  
  
"Ah did-Whay?" asked Rogue.  
  
"I don't know!" said Wolverine, "I'm asking you."  
  
"Wait, whay are you here?" asked Rogue.  
  
"Danger room sesson-"  
  
"Now?!" asked Rogue, "It's 7:45!"  
  
"Get a move on," said Wolverine as he exited the room with some residual ringing in his ears.  
  
-------------  
  
Down in the danger room they finally started the simulation around 8, but Rogue couldn't get that dream out of her head. She wasn't focused too many unanswered questions-  
  
Would Logan really do that?  
  
If not Logan, would Wolverine?  
  
Rogue didn't hear the instructions Scott was giving. She was staring at the exact spot in the room where Wolverine had over powered Gambit in her dream.  
  
She didn't even notice the start of the simulation.  
  
Rockets soared through the air-  
  
Lasers were fired-  
  
Spikes shot from the walls-  
  
And even the circular saw blades came out to play.  
  
But what got the best of Rogue was one of the metal coils that came out of a panel in the floor. It side swiped her throwing her into the metal wall of the room.  
  
Rogue didn't even have enough time to react to Kitty's warning, "ROGUE, BEHIND YOU!"  
  
Everything went black for Rogue on impact.  
  
-------------  
  
The next day around noonish at Magneto's lair everyone was up and around- all with the exception of Remy that is.  
  
The adults were drawing out new battle strategies, which meant free time for the kids.  
  
After a quick "ronde vu" in the laundry room John and Wanda went their separate ways-Since Magneto found out about their relations they face a whole new set of obstacles in not only avoiding the adults, but the younger members of Acolytes as well, although Wanda wasn't anything really as far as allegiance.  
  
So far their favorite place was the laundry room purely because everyone procrastinated when it came to laundry, but most importantly because the machines vibrated!  
  
It was in said Laundry room that St. John took on the roll of "Lord of the Lost Sox" and Wanda became the "Fabric Softener Tsarina"-(Dear God I don't even know where I come up with this shit!)  
  
Anyway back to the story at hand-Pyro and Wanda had just finished a 'session' in which the "Lord of the Lost Sox" had saved the "Fabric Softener Tsarina" from the evil clutches of the "Lint Trap Troops" who were the minions of the "Wicked Whites Warden". Long story short the "Lord of the Lost Sox" got to name his reward and I think we all know he didn't take was behind door no. 1.  
  
So, Wanda and Py are walking past Gambit's room on their way to do their favorite post "laundry" activity-ultimate Frisbee, which is rather impressive in knee deep snow.  
  
"Hey, think Gambit would want to play?" asked St. John.  
  
"I don't see why not," said Wanda as she knocked on the door.  
  
No answer.  
  
The two looked at each other.  
  
St. John knocked again, "Rem, Mate, you ok?"  
  
No answer.  
  
"I don't see why he would be asleep," said Wanda, "Do you think we should go in?"  
  
"Sure," said Pyro a little worried.  
  
They opened the door and walked in to find Remy laying face down on the bed. His breathing was slow and heavy.  
  
"Rem, you awake?" asked John, "Rem?"  
  
No response.  
  
"Gambit?" asked Wanda walking forward, "Whoa-" she tripped over the trashcan, which for some reason was in the middle of the floor.  
  
Pyro tried shaking Gambit, but he still wouldn't get up.  
  
"What's this?" Wanda asked herself as she lifted a small picture frame from the trash that had spilled onto the floor. It held a photo of Remy and Rogue at the restaurant down in New Orleans where Rogue had decided to play "footsie" (How Much Embarrassment Can 2 Mutants Take ref.). The glass covering the raw photo was cracked down the center.  
  
After another 5 min. of trying to get Gambit on his feet St. John finally gave up, "Shi-er-Wanda, go get your father somethin's wrong."  
  
Wanda ran down the hall to conference room and pretty much busted in.  
  
"What is the meaning of this?" asked Magneto rather annoyed, "And why do you have a sock stuck to your shirt?!"  
  
Sure enough Wanda looked down and one of Pyro's gym socks was stuck to her left breast from static cling.  
  
"I was doing laundry!" said Wanda defensively.  
  
"What, did you run out of fabric softener? Or is Pyro's foot stuck in the lint trap again? (Somehow that tale leaked out from one of the younger Acolytes)" Mystique raised an eyebrow, while Mastermind and Creed just fell out laughing.  
  
"Are you done?!" Wanda shot a death glare towards Creed and Mastermind.  
  
"Wanda this had better be good!" warned her father.  
  
"Gambit's acting weird," said Wanda.  
  
"He is weird!" argued Mystique.  
  
"No, I mean he hasn't left his room since we got back from that "mandatory outing" you sent us on!" Wanda looked her father dead in the eye, "And he's still in the same clothes he came back in."  
  
"So?" asked Creed, "If we let him Gambit would sleep through Doom's Day."  
  
"That's just it he's not really a sleep," Wanda was trying to explain, "also I found this the trash." She slid the cracked frame across the table.  
  
"Let me get this straight," said Matermind, "Rogue and Gambit broke up?"  
  
"I think so," said Wanda.  
  
"Whaddaya know, Christmas came early this year," said Mystique smugly. 


	6. Momma!

Chapter 6: Momma!  
  
While Wanda was retrieving the adults, St. John was left with Gambit and a frisbee.  
  
"C'mon, Mate, it can't be as bad as all of that," said St. John looking down at Gambit.  
  
Gambit didn't flinch.  
  
Py thought for a moment and then dropped the frisbee about a yard from the bed, "C'mon boy-go get it!"  
  
Gambit just sighed.  
  
"C'mon, 'at's it good dog-C'mon go get the frisbee!"  
  
Gambit didn't move.  
  
"John, what the hell are you doing?!" asked Wanda, who had returned by now.  
  
Py spun around to see Wanda standing in the doorway with her arms crossed and the adults behind her.  
  
"I think we should call the vet an' 'ave 'im fixed," said the Aussie.  
  
SLAP!  
  
Wanda smacked Py upside the head.  
  
"OW!" yelped St. John, "What? It worked with my dog!"  
  
Magneto walked over to bed, picked up Gambit's wrist and looked at his watch.  
  
"Well?" asked Wanda.  
  
"Gambit will be out of commission for a while," said Mags as he felt Remy's forehead, "Wanda go get a washcloth and cold water."  
  
-------------  
  
2 pm Xavier Institute  
  
A black cat walked onto the premises and headed due East to the greenhouse, where Storm was tending to her plants. The cat jumped up onto the table Ororo was working at and sat down. Storm stroked the cat's head and it started to purr.  
  
"Oh, hello Raven, come to pay up?" asked Storm.  
  
Mystique turned back into herself.  
  
"I'll pay when I see proof," she said still sitting on the table.  
  
Just then the Prof. perchanced to roll by the doorway. He stopped and rolled in.  
  
"Hello, Raven," he said.  
  
"Charles," Mystique narrowed her eyes.  
  
"So you heard about Rogue," he said.  
  
"What about Rogue? What happened?!" asked Mystique.  
  
"She had a little run in the danger room yesterday," explained the Prof. "Why don't you come down to sickbay with me and check on her."  
  
"Uh-I don't know" Mystique began.  
  
"Yes, Raven," said Storm putting her arm around Mystique, "maybe we'll even run into Jean and Scott and the way down."  
  
The Prof. just sighed, "At least I know where the kids get if from now."  
  
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" said Raven.  
  
"I wonder myself," said Storm.  
  
Krack-Boom-thunder could be heard in the background.  
  
-------------  
  
Just as the Prof., Stom and Mystique were about to enter the lab they hear:  
  
"NO-NO-STAY BACK!" screamed Rogue.  
  
"Easy Stripes, I'm not going to hurt you!" Logan attempted to calm her down.  
  
"DON"T COME ANY CLOSER!" warned Rogue.  
  
"Calm down, Sis!" Kurt pleaded.  
  
BAM!-Mystique kicked the door open.  
  
"What is going on here?!" demanded the Prof.  
  
"She's been like this ever since she woke up," Hank explained as he flipped through a physician's desk ref.  
  
Rogue was backed into a corner as Kurt and Logan attempted to heard her back to the recovery room.  
  
Logan took a step closer and Rogue sunk to the floor and stared to cry.  
  
"What the hell are you people doing to my daughter?!" shouted Mystique.  
  
Rogue looked up and saw Mystique. She stood up ran past Logan and leveled Mystique, "MOMMA!"  
  
"Zat's just wrong!" said Kurt.  
  
"Flamin' hell, Hank. How much pain killer did you give her.  
  
THUD!  
  
Just then Scott and Jean fell out of the supply closet and on the floor.  
  
"I told you that door wouldn't hold our wait!" said Scott.  
  
"I guess I do owe you $20," said Mystique looking up at Storm from underneath Rogue. 


	7. Wanda’s PlanThe Game is Afoot!

Chapter 7: Wanda's Plan-The Game is Afoot!  
  
Logan looked over at Hank, "Which reminds me-pay up!"  
  
"Are you kidding?" exclaimed Cyke.  
  
"You all bet on whether or not we would-" Jean began.  
  
"Exactly!" Scott cut in.  
  
Logan rolled his eyes.  
  
"Just out of curiosity how long have you two been in there?" asked Hank.  
  
Scott looked at his watch, "About three hours."  
  
Jean glanced at Scott, "Wanna head up to the kitchen for a late lunch?"  
  
"Sure," said Scott as he held the door open for Jean.  
  
SLAM!-The door fell shut.  
  
"Zat was-" Kurt was at a loss for words.  
  
"Bizarre," offered Hank.  
  
"Ja," agreed Kurt.  
  
"Anyway," said Hank, "Rogue you should go lay down for awhile."  
  
"Ah'm fine, really" insisted Rogue as she tightened her grip around Mystique's waist.  
  
"I'm sure you feel fine now, but I strongly suggest we ice that before the pain killer wares off."  
  
"W-W-Who's we?" asked Rogue nervously.  
  
"Me," said Logan holding out a gloved hand.  
  
"Oof!" Mystique almost lost her balance again when Rogue leapt into her arms.  
  
"Logan, Storm why don't you go check on Scott and Jean." the Prof. stepped in (not literally!)  
  
Wolverine and Storm exchanged strange glances but did what was asked of them. AS soon as the lab door closed behind them Xavier turned to Mystique.  
  
"Would it be possible for you to stay a little while longer?" asked Charles, "Just until she falls asleep."  
  
"Nein, Professor, you can't be serious!" exclaimed Kurt.  
  
"I guess I could stay for a little while," said Mystique hesitantly as she looked down at Rogue trembling in her arms.  
  
"Good," said the Professor, "take her into the next room."  
  
"But-" Nightcrawler continued to protest.  
  
"Don't worry, Kurt. Rogue will be fine. Why don't you go change for the danger room session."  
  
"Alright," said Kurt reluctantly as he ported out of the room-BAMF!  
  
-------------  
  
Mystique wrapped Rogue in a blanket and laid down on the bed with her. Hank came in behind them and handed Mystique an ice pack once she had gotten as comfortable as possible with a teenager clinging to her neck.  
  
"About 15 minutes should be adequate," said Hank turning to go back to the lab.  
  
Rogue buried her head in Mystique's shirt and started to cry.  
  
Mystique applied the ice pack and wrapped her arms around Rogue in her arms.  
  
"Shhhhhh," Mystique rubbed Rogue's back, "does this have something to do with Wolverine and Gambit?  
  
Rogue just cried harder and tightened her grip around Mystique.  
  
"Ok-ok, calm down," said Mystique leaning back against the headboard.  
  
3 hours later!-Rogue was sound asleep in Mystique's arms. The ice pack was now a zip lock bag of water on sitting on the nightstand. Xavier wheeled in as Mystique was carefully removing a strand of white hair from Rogue's face.  
  
"It's nice to see she's finally getting some rest," said Xavier as he stopped beside the bed.  
  
"Easy for you to say!" remarked Mystique.  
  
"That's just part of parenting," chuckled Xavier, "no one said it was easy."  
  
Mystique sighed, "She better appreciate this."  
  
"I just need you to hold her still for a minute." said Xavier, "I want to perform a reading and see if I can't get to the bottom of this."  
  
-------------  
  
Mystique returned to the Acolyte base to find everyone, minus Remy of course, sitting in the commons room. You guessed it another meeting! I bet you even know what the subject was-Correct!-Remy and Rogue.  
  
SLAM!  
  
Mystique through the door shut, "I don't like this!" she declared, "I just came from Xavier's and Rogue is worse than Gambit!"  
  
"What happened on that overnight-exactly," asked Magneto looking pointedly at Wanda, Pyro and Piotr.  
  
"Where to begin?" asked Piotr looking at John and Wanda.  
  
"Well," said Wanda sarcastically, "I think we all had a ton of fun-I mean how could we not-getting cornered by a bobcat, nearly drowning in a raging river, getting even more wet when it started to poor and being forced to take refuge in a cave!"  
  
"Don't forget about thatmoose chasing us, Shi-er-Wanda," added the Aussie.  
  
"I ment with Rogue and Gambit!" said Magneto crossing his arms.  
  
"Oh," the three looked at each other.  
  
"Except when they were collecting firewood when Colossus and Shadowcat were- " Wanda thought for a moment, "temporarily indisposed!"  
  
Mystique raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, "Is that what they're calling it these days?" she asked sarcastically, "And what were the two if you doing-playing Tarzan and Jane?!"  
  
"For your information we were playing Adam and Evil!" said Wanda with some added 'tude.  
  
"Alright, that's far more than any of us needed to know!" said Magneto holding up a hand.  
  
Creed attempted to suppress a laugh, while lighting a cigar.  
  
"Getting back to the original question," Mastermind intervened, "after Gambit and Rogue returned from whatever they were doing were they acting differently than before?"  
  
"Kind of but I really didn't pay any attention," admitted Wanda.  
  
"Same here," said Pyro.  
  
"Da," agreed Piotr.  
  
"Any ideas why they would break up?" asked Mystique.  
  
"Beats me," said St. John.  
  
"I think Rogue blamed herself for what befell us along the way." said Piotr, "By asking Gambit for help everyone on both sides has been punished- "  
  
"Ergo, by getting rid of Gambit everything should go back to normal," concluded Mastermind, "but of course we all know it didn't."  
  
"As much as I hate to admit it," said Mystique, "I think it was better when they were a couple."  
  
"I think I it's time I talk to Charles." stated Magneto.  
  
With that having been said all the adults once again headed for the meeting room. Once they were out of sight the teens got down to business.  
  
"Now what?" asked Piotr.  
  
"We're on our own this time, Mates," said St. John.  
  
"Or are we?" asked Wanda pulling out her cell phone, "Hello, operator? I'd like a listing in New Orleans for a Mr. Henri (On-ree) LeBeau."  
  
-------------  
  
That's right, the amateur Spielberg and assistants are coming back-with a vengeance (How Much Embarrassment Can 2 Mutants Take? ref). 


	8. The Cajun Conundrum

Chapter 8: The Cajun Conundrum  
  
The next day Wanda was in the commons room, pacing in front of the phone. She hadn't gotten a hold of Henri (On-ree), only left a message on his voice mail. Wanda just hoped he called soon because she was at her wits end with Gambit.  
  
RING!-RING!  
  
Wanda pounced on the phone, "Hello?-Kitty?!-Uh ya, he's right here," she covered the receiver with her hand and shouted, "PETEY!"  
  
Colossus came down the with his sketch book under his arm, "Da?" he asked.  
  
"Kitty's on the phone," said Wanda, "and make it fast!-I'm expecting a call!"  
  
"BANG!-BANG!-BANG!  
  
"Hold that thought," said Wanda as she handed the phone to Petey the phone and went to answer the door.  
  
Piotr lifted the phone to his ear, "Katya?-Da, he's still in his room. How is Rogue?-That bad?!"  
  
-------------  
  
Wanda walked down the hall muttering to herself, "What a time for Merf to show up!" (Hotel Management ref.)  
  
She threw the door open and much to her surprise rather then seeing the familiar sight of a half frozen and extremely pissed FedEx guy, she saw-  
  
"Henri? Mads? Belle?!" needless to say Wanda was shocked, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"It's a lon' story," said Henri.  
  
"I've got time," said Wanda leaning against the door frame.  
  
"Could we discuss dis inside befo' my tits crack off?!" asked Mads.  
  
"Oh, sure-sorry," said Wanda who up until now forget the three standing in front her were up to their knees in snow.  
  
SLAM!  
  
Wanda dropped the door as a cold gust of wind threatened to invade the warmth of the hallway.  
  
"Funny," said Henri as he brushed the snow off of his shoes, "I din' think silicon could freeze.  
  
"You son'bitch!" yelled Mads as she proceeded to kick Henri in the shin.  
  
"Serves you right fo' makin' shit up!" declared Mads with a cocky smile.  
  
"De two o' you," said an exasperated Belle as she stared down the hall.  
  
-------------  
  
It didn't take much to realize the new comers were attracting a lot off attention when they sat down in the commons room.  
  
"Uh-Katya, I have to go," said Piotr as he placed the the phone back on the receiver.  
  
Pyro did a double take, "You're the ones from the movie, right?"  
  
"Uh-oui," said Henri.  
  
"That's one bitchin' couch you have, Mate," said St. John.  
  
"Tanks-I tink," said Henri more than a little weirded out.  
  
Before long all the Acolytes, minus Remy of course, were assembled in the commons room.  
  
"Explain this to me one more time!" said Magneto in a dangerous tone as she glared at his daughter.  
  
"Well, when you left last night I called the operator and got Henri's cell phone number and left a message on his voice mail to call me back." said Wanda.  
  
"So, why are they here?!" demanded her father.  
  
"Um-" Wanda looked over to the three on the couch.  
  
"It's like this," said Mads looking to Henri.  
  
"Uh-right," said Henri hesitantly, "When I got Wanda's call yest'day mon pere (my father) and Tante Matie were in de room. Remy does something like dis after ev'ry break up. And while mon pere jus' roll his eyes an' goes back t' work when Remy refuses to come out of his room, but Tante Matie always plays into it."  
  
"Lon' story short," said Belle sarcastically, "Jean-Luc an' Tante Matie got into a fight-obviously Tante Matie won-Dat's why were here!"  
  
"So," said Henri, "I go in, check on Remy, take de Polaroid, go back to New Owlins, show Tante Matie an' ev'rybody's happy." He produced a Polaroid from his duffle bag.  
  
"Sounds like a plan," said Mystique crossing her arms and looking toward Magneto.  
  
"First door on the left," said Magneto gesturing to the hall.  
  
"Merci," said Henri as he rose from the couch with the camera and headed down the hall.  
  
5 minutes later Henri came back down the hall and picked up his duffle bag.  
  
"Time to go?" asked Mads.  
  
"Non-time to unpack," Henri corrected her.  
  
"QUOI?!" Belle jumped to her feet.  
  
"Is it really dat bad?!" asked Mads.  
  
"I couldn't even get 'im to look at me," said Henri, "an' you know what dat means." He looked directly at Belle.  
  
"Damage control," grumbled Belle crossing her arms.  
  
"Well, while you two are doin' dat," said Mads pulling her sweatshirt cuff back to reveal a phone number.  
  
"De hell is dat?!" asked Belle grabbing her younger sister's arm.  
  
"'meber when we were searched by airport security-Ever wonder why it took over an hour?" asked Mads as innocently as possible.  
  
"Why does dat not surprise me?" Belle rolled her eyes and lifter her duffle bag.  
  
"Colossus, show them to their rooms," ordered Magneto.  
  
"Here, I'll take that," said Piotr as Belle handled him one of the duffle bags.  
  
THUNK!-Colossus arm went straight down and the bag hit the floor, "What the- ?!"  
  
"Dat's probl'y Belle's make-up case," said Henri sarcastically.  
  
"Firstly," said Belle-  
  
POW!-she gave Henri a dead arm.  
  
"AH!" exclaimed Henri in an incredible amount of pain.  
  
"Secondly," Belle continued, "It's not mine, it's Mads," she said looking at her sister.  
  
Everyone was staring at Mads.  
  
"Quoi?" asked Mads, "I brought some 'extra entertainment' jus' incase we 'ad to stay."  
  
"'Extra entertainment'?" Mystique raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Oui," said Mads, "De photo album from de movie, which by de way we got an 'A' on."  
  
-------------  
  
That's right not only is Remy's family back, but also the illusive photo album and all the embarrassing stories of Remy's past-MWAHAHAHA! 


	9. Drastic Measures

Chapter 9: Drastic Measures  
  
Belle sat at the kitchen table playing solitaire with Remy's signature deck of cards. Belle sat opposite her flipping through the photo album, while Henri paced the line where the kitchenette tile became the metal floor of the commons room. In the commons room Wanda, John and Piotr were all pretending to partake in various activities as they eavesdropped on Henri, Belle and Mads.  
  
"Dis time I don' know what ta do-I've neva see 'im like dis befo!" said Henri frantically throwing hands in the air.  
  
"Mebe we should call Tante Mattie," suggested Mads as she idly flipped through the photo album.  
  
"Don' even joke 'bout dat!" scolded her older sister (Belle).  
  
"As much as I hate to admit it," said Henri, "Belle's right."  
  
"Hey!" exclaimed Belle in retort.  
  
"De point bein'," Henri continued, "we 'ave ta fix dis ASAP!-and Tante Mattie has a tendency of getting' physical, so lon' story short we on our own."  
  
"What else be frickin' new?!" asked Mads sarcastically, "as lon' as we not bleedin' our fathers tink we fine!-but more to de point what we gonna do wid Remy an' Rogue?!"  
  
"Trap dem in an elevator?" suggested Belle, who had started to build a house of cards.  
  
"It's been done," said Henri dismissively, were know for our originality-"  
  
"Like de time you an' Remy took a walk down to de church one April Fool's Day wearin' only stiletto high heels?" asked Mads flipping to a page.  
  
"De part I remember was de Priest sayin', 'Nice shoes boys, where'd you get 'em?'" Henri laughed.  
  
Belle burst out laughing and the card house came crashing down, "I forgot 'bout dat."  
  
Henri paused and furrowed his brow.  
  
"Dis be ridiculous!" he declared, "Remy always pulls dis kind-crap and quite frankly I'm tired of cleanin' up his messes wid women-Dis time he's fightin' 'is own battles!"  
  
"Technically dis is our fault," Mads chimed in, "I mean it was our movie dat did dis-we exposed dem-so get offa yo' soapbox, Henri!"  
  
"Dat's beside de point!" argued Henri.  
  
"Here, here!" said Belle starting another house of cards.  
  
"Aw, shud up, Belle," said Mads, "your only here because o' yo' stupid dime (a thousand bucks-How Much Embarrassment Can 2 Mutants Take ref.)  
  
Belle glared at her sister.  
  
"I'll jus' leave you two ta duke it out," said Henri as he headed towards his little brother's room.  
  
-------------  
  
BANG!-Henri threw the door to Remy's room open.  
  
"Rem-get yo' ass outta bed an' go fin' Rogue now!" yelled Henri as he walked into the room.  
  
Remy didn't move.  
  
"Boy, you so lucky I'm not Tante Mattie because she'd be beatin' yo ass right about now wid de sports page!"  
  
Remy didn't budge.  
  
"Pup, Henri ain't playin'-put yo coat on an' we'll go fin' de fili," said Henri as lifted his brother's trench coat from the floor.  
  
Thump!-Henri looked down to see what had fallen on the floor.  
  
Remy's wallet had fallen out of his trench coat and was laying open the floor displaying Henri's credit card (Hotel Management ref.)  
  
"De hell?" Henri picked up his credit card, "I guess I'll let you get away wid dis one bro because of de movie and all."  
  
Henri pulled Remy to his and helped his put his coat on.  
  
Remy came around slowly, "Henri?"  
  
Henri raised and eyebrow, "Who were you expectin' de Adams Fam'ly?! Let's go!"  
  
-------------  
  
By the time Henri and Gambit made it to the kitchen Wanda, John and Piotr were gathered around Mads and the photo album. Needless to say Wanda, John and Piotr were laughing their asses off at the pictures.  
  
"I can't believe you two actually scheduled a full day at a spa and had your legs waxed," laughed Wanda.  
  
"I've neva been able to look at wax de same way again." Henri shivered, "What about you Rem?-Rem?"  
  
THUD!-Remy collapsed onto the kitchen floor.  
  
"De hell?" Mads looked up from the photo album.  
  
"Perhaps we should have tried to give him some food first," suggested Piotr, "it has been four days since he's eaten."  
  
"Merde," sighed Henri as he put his hand over his eyes, " dis gonna be a lon' day." 


	10. The Real Problem Begins

Chapter 10: The Real Problem Begins  
  
3 hrs after collapsing in the kitchen, Gambit woke up in one of the recovery rooms at the Xavier Institute.  
  
"Ow," Remy sat up rubbing his head, "De hell happened?"  
  
"How do you feel?" asked Henri who had been waiting for Gambit to wake up.  
  
"Dizzy an' lightheaded," said Remy swallowing hard.  
  
"What's you expect?! You 'aven't eaten in fo' days!" exclaimed Henri.  
  
"Really?" asked Gambit, "Remy t'ought he 'adn't eaten in a year!"  
  
"How 'bout dis?" asked Henri slyly, "I go make you de san'wich an' you go fin' Rogue."  
  
"I don' know," said Remy hesitantly.  
  
"What's ta know?" asked Henri, "You go in dere, talk tings out fo' five minutes, den spend the tree hours 'avin' make up sex!"  
  
"Henri, it don' work like dat wid Rogue-she different. Besides even if we did get it together it still wouldn't matta-" Remy trailed off.  
  
"Porquoi (Why)?" asked Henri.  
  
Remy leaned back against the headboard of the bed, "Fuzzy and de Smerfette (Logan and Mystique)."  
  
POW!  
  
Henri gave his little brother a dead arm.  
  
"OW!" yelped Remy, "De fuck was dat fo'?!"  
  
"Fo'getting' where you come from!" yelled Remy's older brother.  
  
"Henri, you feelin' ok?" asked Remy raising an eyebrow as he rubbed his now soar arm.  
  
"I feel fin'-you de one Henri be worried about!-Since when does anyone from either de T'ieves o' de Assassin's back down from a challenge?! An' to ad insult to injury you de son of de leader o' de Guild-You, Sir, are an embarrassment!" said Henri overacting by crossing his arms and looking away.  
  
"Bro, what are you on?!" asked Remy rather confused and worried about his brother's mental stability.  
  
"I have no brother!" declared Henri.  
  
Remy rolled his red and black eyes, threw the covers off and managed to stand up, but still really dizzy, "Are you getting' all dramatic again?! *sigh* Fin' if it'll shut you and get me somet'ing ta eat in de process I'll go talk to her!" Gambit seceded, "Happy, NOW?!"  
  
"Very." said Henri smugly "-Yo' legs painted on?-Move you ass!"  
  
What Remy neglected to notice was the little illuminated red light on the intercom. You have just witnessed Henri's modified master plan.  
  
-------------  
  
When Henri walked into the kitchen he received a mild round of applause from all those who were waiting for him, which included Belle, Mads, Storm, Piotr, Kitty, Storm, Mystique, Kurt, the Prof. and Magneto.  
  
"Overact much?" asked Belle sarcastically.  
  
"Got de job done, didn't it?" said Henri smirking.  
  
"That's beyond the point," said Magneto.  
  
"Precisely," agreed Xavier, "now that we know what drove them apart," he said looking pointedly at Mystique.  
  
"Now vat?" asked Kurt.  
  
"We sit them down and talk it out," said Xavier.  
  
"Are you kidding?!" asked Mystique, "I admit I don't like seeing Rogue destroy herself, but you have to admit it was nice having life down to a dull roar without having to constantly wonder about Gambit's whereabouts."  
  
"Still," said Magneto, "I would rather worry about Gambit's 'whereabouts' than his funeral preparations on a Friday night (he he)."  
  
-------------  
  
In the meantime Gambit had wandered down the hall of the medical wing to a large set of metal doors in search of his sultry Southern belle.  
  
"Chere?" he called into the silence, but to no avail.  
  
Next time he was going to ask for the sandwich in advance. Remy started feeling woozy and staggered against the wall for balance. In the process his hand hit the button to open the large set of metal door-a.k.a the Danger Room!  
  
"Mon Diu!" exclaimed Gambit as he saw lazars shooting out from the walls.  
  
"Mission. Completed.-Congratulations. Logan," said the computer in a programmed female voice.  
  
"Thanks, Darlin'," said Wolverine walking over to a towel.  
  
"You're. Soooo. Strong." The computer cooed.  
  
"Ya, well-(Sniff~Sniff)," Wolverine smelled the air with disdain as he lifted his water bottle, "hold that thought," he said walking over the threshold of the room, "Loose somethin', Gumbo?" Wolverine growled.  
  
"Oui, mon fili! (Yes, my woman!)" said Gambit crossing his arms.  
  
"Look, Bub, she said she didn't wanna see ya again that means she's not yers. And incase ya were wonderin' she never was!" growled Wolverine.  
  
"Non, mon ami all Cher said was to 'cool it fo' a while'. Gambit can only guess you be de reason why," said Remy narrowing his demonic eyes.  
  
"Look, Gumbo-'Cher' has a name and since yer from the bayou I'll let you in on a little secret-"  
  
"An' what would dat be?" asked Gambit in a dangerous tone.  
  
"Yer walkin' on thin ice, Bub!" warned Wolverine-  
  
SKNIT!  
  
"Whoa-" said Remy putting up his hands in defense, "Gambit be de lover, not de fighter an' a damn good one at dat!-Take it easy, homme-"  
  
"Accessing. Escape. From. Home." said the computer.  
  
Instantly the metallic room was converted into the main hall. Ever since Mystique had trapped the rookies in the mansion while she posed as Professor Xavier, Forge had created a simulation in which all the X-Men had to escape before the mansion went into Defcon 4. It was by far one of the more challenging courses to run and of course with Gambit's luck that was the one the computer accessed.  
  
Logan was barely able to move Gambit out of the way before a circular saw blade took a hunk out of the door frame. Remy's equilibrium still wasn't quite up to par-long story short he wound up at Wolverine's feet.  
  
"The hell's the matter with you, kid?!" asked Wolverine.  
  
"Not'in' Gambit be fine," insisted Remy who was still on the floor.  
  
"Can you stand?" asked Wolverine deflecting flying projectiles with his adamantium claws.  
  
"Not widout fallin' back on ma ass, mon ami," admitted Gambit as he shifted uncomfortably on the metallic floor.  
  
"Great," growled Wolverine.  
  
Just then robotic duplicates of the Acolytes filed into the simulation- armed and ready for battle.  
  
Gambit was aghast, "No fuckin' way!"  
  
"Whadya think we do on the weekends?" asked Wolverine shooting Gambit a superior look, "Sit around watching cartoons?"  
  
"Well, dat was only one of de t'eories," said Remy.  
  
"Theories?!" asked Wolverine.  
  
"Oui," said Gambit looking up at Logan from the floor, "my favorite is de wild ogree (don't know if that's spelled right) one."  
  
"WHAT?!" roared Wolverine.  
  
POW!  
  
Logan was broad sided by a flaming ceiling beam, thrown into a wall and temporarily stunned.  
  
Meanwhile Gambit had had enough he didn't care what happened anymore. He somehow managed to painstakingly rise to his feet, only to come face to face with-himself?!  
  
Well the robotic version anyway.  
  
"Damn-Gambit be a sexy bitch!" commented Remy giving his robotic-self a once over as he walked around it, "Whoa!-Hold de phone!-Dere be no way Gambit's ass dat big!"  
  
BAM!-Robot Gambit sucker punched real Gambit.  
  
"OW!" yelped a now winded Gambit, "Dat's not cool!-Gambit has never taken a cheap shot," he paused, "'cept dat time when Henri pants me at dat pep rally."  
  
"This thief is about to kick your ass," said robot Remy.  
  
"Are you kiddin'?! Remy don' talk like dat!" said Gambit wrinkling his nose in disgust.  
  
"Prepare for pain," said robot Remy as he unleashed a deck of cards form his coat pocket.  
  
Fifty-two pickup was the name of the game as robot Gambit's playing cards went flying in all directions-they were doused in both real Remy and Wolverine's blood.  
  
It wasn't long before Gambit blacked out.  
  
-------------  
  
Remy woke up about 15 minutes later in his least favorite place in the world-the ER of the Xavier Institute. Not only was he greeted by the always unwelcome of sight of Hank holding a syringe, but Henri trying to hold him down, while Magneto was trying to stop the gashes on his arms and chest from bleeding with towels. Storm and Mystique were running around the lab grabbing various sterilizing substances and bandages, while Professor Xavier was giving Logan a once over even though it really wasn't necessary.  
  
"MERDE!" yelled Remy as Hank stuck him with the syringe.  
  
"Goddamn it, Rem, would you jus' stay still until dey stop de bleedin'?!" pleaded Henri as he attempted to stabilize his brother's legs.  
  
But of course Remy being Remy continued to try and shake Henri and get off that God forsaken table.  
  
"Christ, we should just let him bleed to death!" groaned Mystique.  
  
"Fer once we agree on somethin'," said Wolverine, "he's more trouble than he's worth."  
  
"Hey, at least Gambit wasn't making time wid the computer!" Remy shot back.  
  
"I was not 'making time' with the computer!" growled Wolverine, "Forge programmed it to say that stuff."  
  
"An' pigs be flyin',' said Remy smugly.  
  
"It's on!" yelled Wolverine.  
  
"Logan, please," pleaded the Professor.  
  
"Fine," grumbled Logan, "I'll chalk that one up to the pain killer."  
  
"That would just solve all your problems wouldn't it?!" asked an exasperated Storm, "With Gambit out of the picture everything would just go back to normal, wouldn't it Raven?!" accused Storm.  
  
"Ya, pretty much," Mystique shrugged.  
  
Storm gasped, "That's awful! And what about Rogue?!"  
  
"What about Rogue?" Mystique shrugged, "She's young she'll get over it."  
  
"Oh ya, dis is great fo' Gambit's self-esteem," said Remy continuing to squirm.  
  
"Damn it, hold still," ordered Magneto.  
  
"I can't believe you just said that and still call yourself Rogue's mother!" yelled Storm.  
  
"Why, you wanna make something of it?!" challenged Mystique.  
  
"Yes, as a matter of fact I do!" shouted Storm, "I was just curious what you were going to do when Rogue brings a human home like Kurt?!"  
  
"WHAT?!" yelled Mystique, "Kurt's dating a human?!-Not while I'm alive! Where is he?!" She stomped off to find her son.  
  
"Nice," said Wolverine sarcastically, "as if it wasn't bad enough with her interferin' in Rogue's life, now Kurt!"  
  
"Where de hell you tink you goin' wid dat?!" asked Remy as Hank came at him with a stethoscope.  
  
"And just one last question," said Hank putting the stethoscope down.  
  
"Quoi?!" groaned Remy.  
  
"How many helmets do you see?" asked Hank pointing to Magneto's helmet which was sitting on a table nearby.  
  
"T'ree?" asked Remy unsure of his answer.  
  
All the adults exchanged concerned glances.  
  
"Close enough," said Magneto helping Gambit off of the examination table.  
  
Just when you thought things couldn't get worse-  
  
"What the hell is goin' on in heah? Yer makin' enough noise ta wake the dead!" exclaimed Rogue as she walked into the room.  
  
"Non, wait!" yelled Mads running to catch her.  
  
"Not in dere!" shouted Belle bringing up the rear.  
  
The two sisters were supposed to be distracting her while the adults patched Remy up and to avoid a scene, such as this.  
  
"Oh mah Gawd-LOGAN, YOU JACKASS!" yelled Rogue at the sight of Gambit's torso and upper arms completely wrapped.  
  
Needless to say Rogue decided to kick a field goal into the area just below Logan's belt.  
  
-------------  
  
MWAHAHAHA!-Sorry for the wait, shit came up. Anyway thanks for your patients and as always your reviews. I enjoy them immensely. 


	11. The Plan

Chapter 11: The Plan  
  
Needless to say Rogue needed to be sedated, Logan needed an icepack and Remy needed to eat something before he passed out again.  
  
Neither teen was in any condition to talk by the end of the afternoon.  
  
So after a turkey and cheese with mayo on rye Hank checked Remy's gashes one last time then let Magneto take him home.  
  
-------------  
  
Magneto, Mystique, Piotr, Mads, Henri and Belle had taken Gambit to Xavier's, while Creed had left earlier that morning to pull a job in Connecticut. Now you all know what that means (author shudders) John and Wanda were home alone-ALL AFTERNOON!  
  
*squeak*-The doorknob gave small whine as Magneto used his powers to open it.  
  
Once in side it was quiet-too quiet. They all looked at each other and against their better judgment continued down the hall to the threshold of the commons room. Just as they were about to enter they heard a sound that could have made even Sabertooth turn and run the other way-  
  
"Ha-Ha, I have you now Cat Woman!" yelled St. John in an Australian accent.  
  
"You'll never catch me, Batman!" shouted Wanda, "because I'll catch you first."  
  
Wanda ran into the commons room in a full blown cat woman outfit, including the whip with St. John bounding in behind her dressed as none other than the Dark Knight himself.  
  
"Is that so?" asked the faux Caped Crusader finally catching up.  
  
"Yes, it is," said Wanda as she wrapped the whip around his shoulders and pulled him down to the floor on top of her.  
  
*Ahem!*-Magneto cleared his throat.  
  
Both John and Wanda looked up at the same time.  
  
"DAD?!" exclaimed Wanda, "how long have you been there?"  
  
"Long enough-'Cat Woman'. Now if you wish to keep all of your nine live in tact I suggest you head towards your room. And that goes double for you- 'Batman'," said Magneto glaring a Pyro.  
  
"Point taken," said Wanda.  
  
"Back to the Batcave it is," said Py quickly.  
  
The two teen terrors beat a hasty retreat back to their separate rooms.  
  
"Now what?" asked Henri who was trying to stabilize his only somewhat conscious brother-Damn Hank and his precious pain killers.  
  
"Now Gambit is going to lay down in my office where I can keep watch over him, while I go through some ancient documents and all of you come up with a plan."  
  
"I tink we can handle dat," said Belle confidently.  
  
And so after getting Remy situated on the couch in Magneto's office everyone including Wanda and John who snuck out of their rooms still in costume of course!, while Magneto and Mystique tended to Gambit.  
  
"Vhat are ve going to do, Comrades?" asked Colossus miserably.  
  
"I don' know," said Mads flipping through the photo album.  
  
"Ideas anyone?!" asked Henri frantically.  
  
"How 'bout you ask de two playin' tonsil hockey?" asked Belle shooting a death glare towards Wanda and St. John who were right in the middle of a very involved-shall we say-make out session.  
  
"I vouldn't," warned Piotr, "they have a tendency to attack whoever interrupts them."  
  
Mads chuckled a little as she looked at the photo album.  
  
"How can you laugh at time like dis?!" asked Henri rather horrified.  
  
"I was jus' lookin' back at de time when Rem busted Julian (Belle and Mads older brother) fo' t'rowin' dat rave at Dad's summa 'ome in de country. I'll never forget Rem used de PA system in Jean-Luc's office at de restaurant to bust Jules while Jean-Luc an' Dad were in de middle of negotiations."  
  
"Damn, Magnus beat him so bad he was limpin' fo' a week," laughed Henri.  
  
"Dat's it!" exclaimed Mads triumphantly leaping to her feet.  
  
"Quoi?" asked Mads, "You fin'lly figured out how Rogue can get Remy an' Julian in bed fo' a manage toi (a threesome, I doubt I spelled that right)?"  
  
SWAT!-Belle smacked her little sister up side the head.  
  
"De hell de matta wid you?!" scolded Belle.  
  
"Ow!" yelped Mads.  
  
"Rogue isn't Julian's type!" said Belle sternly.  
  
"Type?" Colossus had never heard the word used in such a context.  
  
"Ya, you know type like Julian only likes size 0 blondes with double D's." Mads explained.  
  
Now Piotr was only even more confused, what did numbers and letters have to do with women?! He would just have to ask Katya later.  
  
"Anyway you said somet'ing about a plan?" Henri inquired.  
  
"Oh, oui," said Belle, "we can use de PA system at de school. All you have to do is lure Remy to de principal's office, den turn on de intercom widout him knowin' an' jus start talkin' about Rogue."  
  
"What about de principal?" asked Mads.  
  
"I tink we can arrange a little distraction, don' you?" said her older sister with a smirk.  
  
"I suppose it could, in t'eory, work," said Henri skeptically.  
  
"What do you mean 'in t'eory'?! It's foolproof!" insisted Belle, "Take it o' leave it!"  
  
"I'll take it on one condition," said Henri.  
  
"Oh, really an' what's that?" asked Belle.  
  
"We use walkie-talkies an' code names," said Henri.  
  
"Ok, technically dat's two conditions, mais (but) since I'm in a good mood I'll agree to your terms."  
  
"Bon (Good)," said Henri, "Now to work out de details."  
  
-------------  
  
Meanwhile in Magneto's office-  
  
Remy was completely buried under a comforter and sound a sleep on his boss' couch and totally oblivious to what was happening in the commons room let alone the room he was in.  
  
Don't get me wrong now, everything had started out innocently enough with Magneto sorting through various bills and loose paper on his desk while Mystique filed her nails as she sat on another couch, opposite the one Remy was a sleep on. As the Master of Magnetism made his way through the mountains of paperwork he came across one of Wanda's metal barrettes. He picked it up and looked at it-  
  
"Raven, where did I go wrong?" he asked as he made the small metal object float about an inch above his palm.  
  
"I don't know, some kids are harder than others," said Mystique focusing intently on one nail in particular as she thought, "Probably when you put her in an insane asylum!"  
  
"I never had this kind of disobedience from Pietro," said Magneto still looking at the object floating above his hand.  
  
"Well, boys and girls are different," said Mystique dismissively as she moved on to the next nail-"Brownnoser," she thought to herself.  
  
"Do you think I've been too hard on her?" he asked.  
  
"Huh?" Mystique looked up.  
  
"With the whole Pyro incident I mean."  
  
"She's a teenager she needs someone to discipline her and besides it's not as if you have no control in the relationship, you are Pyro's boss," said Mystique.  
  
"He's probably banging her back out as we speak," she thought.  
  
"I suppose," said Magneto, "I guess I should just be happy she hasn't brought home a human yet."  
  
Mystique grumbled to herself. Kurt had better pray she never find out where his little girlfriend lived! She didn't spend 10 hours in labor just so he could date a human and she was going to make for damn sure he never forgot that!  
  
Magneto sighed and put the barrette down, "How long until Friday?" (he he)  
  
Mystique looked at her watch, "Three days, seven hours and twelve minutes." She said miserably.  
  
"I'm sorry I asked," groaned Magneto.  
  
"Well, considering we both have free time now-" said Mystique with a wicked glint in her eye.  
  
"What about Gambit?" asked Eric shooting a glance over to the unconscious heap on his couch.  
  
Mystique threw the file over her shoulder, "We'll just be quiet," she assured him as she walked up to the desk chair and straddled his hips.  
  
-------------  
  
Back it the kitchen-  
  
"It's perfect!" exclaimed Henri.  
  
"Now all we 'ave ta do is pray Remy doesn't screw it up some'ow," said Mads.  
  
"Make sure to 'ave 'im dere on time!" Belle warned Henri.  
  
"Don' worry he'll be dere if I 'ave to drag 'im kickin' an' sreamin'!" declared Henri.  
  
--------------  
  
Next up find out how the plan unfolds! 


	12. All is Mended

Chapter 12: All is Mended  
  
7:30 am-Magneto's lair  
  
The adults were in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading various sections of the paper, while the younger members suited up for what one would assume to be battle. The teens, and I mean all the teens including those from the BOM and the Institute-minus Rogue of course, were totally decked out in camouflage and waterproof mascara (How Much Embarassment Can 2 Mutants Take ref.), checking their equipment i.e. walkie-talkies (What were you expecting a GPS System?! There only teenagers-they're on a budget!)  
  
Henri had just returned From Magneto's office with Remy who was still half asleep-come now, we all know Remy's not a morning person.  
  
"Just stay dere!" Henri propped his brother up against a wall while he got his coat out of the closet.  
  
"You got it, Monsiuer Metalico."  
  
Mystique and Magneto looked at each other in horror, I guess they underestimated the retention of Gambit's subconscious.  
  
Wanda turned up her nose and headed for the door, but not before calling her father a, "Hypocrite!"  
  
Magneto just sighed. He knew confronting Wanda on the matter would only prove to be suicide.  
  
THUD!-Remy sank to the floor still mostly asleep.  
  
"Merde!" exclaimed Henri when he saw Gambit slumped over on the floor.  
  
"Dis is bad," sighed Mads.  
  
"Damn it, Remy," swore Belle, "get yo ass in gear!"  
  
So while Henri pulled Remy back to his feet Mads grabbed some coffee to go.  
  
"Move out!" ordered Belle.  
  
With that everyone filed out to the waiting cars.  
  
"Think their plan will work?" asked Mystique not looking up from her section of the paper.  
  
"No," answered all three men unanimously (Magneto, Mastermind and Creed).  
  
-------------  
  
Bayville High  
  
8:15 am  
  
Everyone was in position in the bushes surrounding the campus as Logan pulled up with Rogue on the back of his motorcycle. As she dismounted he handed her backpack to her.  
  
"If yer shoulder starts botherin' ya, call me."  
  
"Don't count on it," grumbled Rogue under her breath as she walked away.  
  
"Ok, well I'll pick you up later then-" ventured Logan.  
  
"Don't bother, I'll walk!" yelled Rogue over her shoulder.  
  
"Are you still mad about what happened to Gambit yesterday?" asked Wolverine.  
  
"Whadda you think?!" exclaimed Rogue rather exasperated.  
  
Logan rolled his eyes, "You can't stay mad forever!"  
  
"Don't hold your breath!" shouted Rogue as she headed off to homeroom.  
  
Logan growled as he revved the engine and sped off, why hadn't he just stayed with Shield. It would have saved him many a migraine!  
  
"Damn that Sheila needs to get laid," commented Pyro from the bushes.  
  
POW!-Wanda slapped Py's shoulder.  
  
"OW!" yelped Py grasping his shoulder, "-you are so gonna make that up ta me later."  
  
"Don't worry," said Wanda with a smirk, "I'll make it up to you."  
  
-------------  
  
Henri was in the boys bathroom with Remy and a walkie-talkie (not a good combo, but I'm sure you already deduced that on your own).  
  
"Batman, Cat Woman-are you dere?" asked Henri.  
  
"Ya, mate, were here," John responded for both him and Wanda.  
  
"Bon," said Henri, "get into position."  
  
"On it, Mate," said St. John, "Ova and out *Static*"  
  
Henri changed the frequency, "Fox Lady (Belle) an' Wild Bitch (Mads), you dere?"  
  
"Oui, Double Oh Sexy (Henri), we here?" answered Mads.  
  
"Commence operation: Distract Kelly," ordered Henri.  
  
"We on it! *static*" said Mads.  
  
Henri changed the frequency again, "Hercules an' Xena, come in."  
  
"We're here," responded Scott for both he and Jean (Oh come on you knew Scott and Jean were going to have lame names!)  
  
"Get into position-" ordered Henri.  
  
"Were on each other-I mean IT, we're on it!" said Scott.  
  
"Oh, Not again," groaned Jean.  
  
-------------  
  
Belle and Mads approached Kelly in three piece business suits as he was headed to his office with briefcase and paper in hand.  
  
He looked up rather confused, "Can I help you?"  
  
"Oui-I mean yes," said Mads trying to remember how to drop her accent, "we are from the American school board on a routine surprise inspection."  
  
"Surprise inspection?!" asked Kelly in retort, "I wasn't informed of anything like this!"  
  
"Of course you weren't" said Belle, "Den-er-Then it wouldn't be a surprise!"  
  
"We're going to need a complete tour of your facilities," said Mads.  
  
"Right now?!" asked Kelly, "I haven't even checked in with my secretary yet!"  
  
"Don' worry we did it for you," insisted Belle.  
  
"Uh-alright," Kelly seceded, "I guess we can start with the athletic field."  
  
-------------  
  
Meanwhile Jean had made Kelly's secretary think it was Wednesday, her day off, while Scott acted as the look out.  
  
They started back down the hall and just when they thought they were in the clear, who did they see, but-  
  
"Rogue!" said Scott hoarsely.  
  
"Quick in here," Jean yanked Scott through the nearest door and slammed it shut.  
  
"Uh, Jean, this is the janitor's closet," said Scott once Rogue had passed by.  
  
"I'm aware if that, Scott," said Jean leaning forward it turn the knob, "Oh no!"  
  
"Were locked in, aren't we?" asked Scott.  
  
"Ya, I think it's safe to say we are," said Jean.  
  
"Wanna-you know-" Scott trailed off.  
  
"Why not?" said Jean as she jumped into Scott's arms.  
  
CLUNK!  
  
"What was that?" asked Jean.  
  
"I just stepped in a bucket." said Scott.  
  
-------------  
  
"She just went into her English class," said Wanda informed Henri over the wakie-talkie.  
  
"Uh, Shi-er Wanda, we got problems," said St. John pointing down the hall.  
  
Who was coming down the hall, but Mads, Belle and Kelly-  
  
"Quick in here!" said Wanda hastily as she yanked Pyro into the girls' bathroom.  
  
"Whoa-how come the Sheila's get a couch?!" asked a be wildered Py.  
  
"Sometimes women just need to lie down!" explained Wanda.  
  
"Lay down?-Reeealy?" asked Py slyly, "Feel like makin' that dead arm up to me?"  
  
"What do you think?" asked Wanda as she pounced on John.  
  
-------------  
  
Meanwhile Kitty and Piotr, a.k.a. "the man o' steel" and "Lois Lane" were supposed to looking out for Wolverine who had a tendency to check in on Rogue at random ever since the incident with Mystique. But of course as we all know Kitty and Piotr were not looking out for Wolverine-  
  
Rather the "Man o' Steel was finally getting it on with "Lois Lane" in the acclaimed phone booth.  
  
"da-Da-DA! (yes-Yes-YES!)" screamed Kitty-so far that was the only Russian she had learned.  
  
"Wait, Katya," Piotr paused for a minute, "I thought we were supposed to be something."  
  
"Like we are doing something!" said Kitty.  
  
"Da, but I thought we were supposed to be doing something else." persisted Piotr.  
  
"Whatever it was I'm sure it's not like-that-important." said Kitty as she traced the outline of Piotr's ear with her tongue.  
  
"I see your point," said Piotr as he started right where he left off.  
  
-------------  
  
"Time to put dis plan into action," said Henri as he dragged Remy down de hall and into Kelly's office.  
  
"Dis isn't gonna work, Henri," grumbled Remy as they entered the principal's office.  
  
"Sure it will," said Henri with a huge grin.  
  
-------------  
  
Rogue had just sat down in class and opened her textbook when the PA system was switched on.  
  
"Great," thought Rogue miserably, "Now what? Fish sticks instead of meatloaf for lunch?!"  
  
"Henri dis won't work!" insisted Gambit over the PA system.  
  
"It has to work," said Henri, "you still love her don' you, Rem?"  
  
"Oui! Remy never stopped, but dat's beyond de point as lon' as uncomfortable wid me around her hommes Remy'll do as she asks and keep his distance." said Gambit sadly.  
  
"Wow!" said the girl next to Rogue, "I would kill for a guy like that."  
  
Rogue ran out in the middle of class and down to the principle's office. She threw the door open and jumped on Remy, bringing him to the ground in an earth shattering hug.  
  
"Damn, Chere, what so lon'-Gambit was startin' t worry!"  
  
"You know me, Cajun, Ah had to change planes in Dallas," said Rogue in jest.  
  
"What about Wolvie?" asked Remy.  
  
"He's a big boy, he can deal with it, Sugah," said Rogue.  
  
"Well den, Gambit, guess de only question left be yo' place o' mine?"  
  
SKNIT!-guess who was standing in the doorway-oh, come on I'll give you three guesses and no the first two don't count.  
  
Rogue looked up and sighed, "Gawddamn it, Logan-Could your tiahming be any worse?! Ah swear-"  
  
"Stripes, I'm not in the mood," growled Wolverine.  
  
"Really?" asked Rogue coyly as she looked from Logan to Gambit and raised an eyebrow, "because Ah am."  
  
"Say no more," said Gambit getting to his feet.  
  
In one fowl swoop he had lifted Rogue in his arms and started to walk back down the hall.  
  
"Oh, Logan, tell the Professor Ah'm not gonna make to dinner toniahgh." Rogue yelled as Gambit carried her down the hall.  
  
"I will do no such thing!" shouted Logan, "Now stop playing around and come back here, so I can take you home!"  
  
SLAM!-Too late Gambit and Rogue were already in the parking lot.  
  
"DAMNIT!" Wolverine's growling dropped into his chest.  
  
"Well dat's gratitude for you," said Henri sarcastically after his brother as he turned the PA system.  
  
-------------  
  
The next morning around 11:30 at Mags' complex Wanda burst into the conference room again as her father was briefing the adult Acolytes on their next battle plan-needless to say he was less than amused.  
  
"Wanda what is the meaning of this?!-Don't tell me it's about Gambit and Rogue again!" her father sighed.  
  
"Oh, no," said Wanda, "they're still asleep."  
  
"Then why are you here?" asked her father growing annoyed.  
  
"I was just wondering if we had a hacksaw," said Wanda.  
  
"What do you need a hacksaw for?!" asked Magneto rather disturbed at the request.  
  
"Foot in the lint trap again?" inquired Mystique raising an eyebrow.  
  
"No," Wanda shook her head, "belt in the garbage disposal."  
  
All the adults looked at her like she had three heads.  
  
"There's a hacksaw in the garage-Do I want to know how Pyro found himself in this situation?" asked her father.  
  
"No, no you really don't said Wanda as she headed for the door.  
  
~Fin~  
  
-------------  
  
Ok, people so this story came after Hotel Management-  
  
Next up: Girls Night Out-What happens when the girls go off on a weekend by themselves and the guys decide to spy on them-to find out what really makes the mutant women tick. 


End file.
